18:51
Ers
Today is my 5th Mother's Day. I am a not so maudlin type of person but I also admire and cherish this day. What I actually think is everyday should be Mother's day that's why we don't particularly celebrate occasion like this one. But I do wish some of these in the kidspot.com.au wishlist - they're not as expensive as a water fountain.
1. Vegetables as appealing as junk food Vegetables are not a sign of hate on a dinner plate. Kids, please eat them. Nothing makes a mother’s heart feel fuller than knowing a child is eating their full nutritional requirements. 2. A self-driving car Luckily Google is already on the case with inventing a driverless car. Just imagine being able to kick back in the passenger seat with a magazine and a beverage rather than yelling at the kids to be quiet and stop dropping more biscuit crumbs into the seat crevasses? 3. Full breakfast, French-style? As lovely as cold, burned sausages are for Mother’s Day breakfast, justb’s Pip Lincolne proclaims she only wants the jammy, buttery full French pastry breakfast option. And a French manicure too, please? And a French accent? French fries, even? 4. Bespoke, streamlined storage What woman with children does not sigh at the sight of streamlined storage? As Edible Garbage blogger Penny Flanagan says, “Storage has to be sleek and ‘bespoke’ so you can add quirky clutter and make everything look like a Pinterest picture “. Storage is also useful to allow mothers to delude themselves into a state of organisation. 5. A midnight sheet-changer An automatic sheet-changer should be mandatory in all households to solve those middle-of-the-night vomits, bedwetting or nappy explosions. A sheet-changer whose name isn’t mum, that is. 6. An eye in the palm of your hand Many mothers already have eyes in the back of their head, but think how useful an eye in the palm of your hand could be? You could be settling a baby over your shoulder and stretch out your hand to check if said baby is actually sleeping or about to wake up all over again. An eye in the palm of your hand would also be periscopey and perfect in the car when there is a wild rumpus in the backseat. 7. Narnia wardrobe Because who wouldn’t want a magical world of stylish clothes to appear when you open the wardrobe? Sometimes it would be nice to put on something fabulous, sneak away through the back of the wardrobe and do something wild like eat cake with a topless fella. If you can’t whip up a magic wardrobe, perhaps bake her this cake? 8. Guilt banishment Mums carry the weight of the world in their hearts. Whether they do A or do B, they will feel guilty. Even doing C will bring on the hot sweats and the ‘I should have’s. There is never a ‘right’ decision when it comes to their children … only a decision that needs revising every second or so. A guilt-free conscience really would be the gift that keeps on giving. 9. A nose-wiping machine Simply position the child’s streaming face in front of the machine, press ‘start’ and the Nose-Wiper (patent pending) does this tricky, thankless job for you. No mess, no endless hand-washing. 10. Unshared bathrooms Some alone time in the bathroom without little people pointing and asking ‘wot dat?’ would be bliss. Even an a shower long enough to conduct some maintenance – a grease and oil change if you will – where all shaveable bits can be shorn, flesh exfoliated, hair treated and entirely rinsed out and blow-dried. If you can’t rustle up any alonetime bathroom action, a holiday will suffice. 11. X-ray vision for school or kinder bags Essential for spotting notices (or mouldering food) in children’s bags whilst holding cup of coffee in one hand, tin of dog food in other and piece of Vegemite toast in mouth. Maybe a new cute coffee cup would be a good idea, too. 12. Secret hidey hole To stow favourite snacks in, because mum does get a bit tired of trying to find healthy treats the kids like (she doesn’t really ENJOY those chocolate-coated prunes hiding in the bread bin, you know?). And this secret hidey hole will not contain chocolate-flavoured worming squares, either. 13. A conversation concierge Mothers are boringly exhausted much of the time and would like someone to distill all the best things, thoughts, facts and places into bite-size pieces that can be recalled at just the right moment in an adult conversation. 14. No more degenerative disease While most mothers can cure anything with a kiss, we’re looking for that special person who can cure dementia. Kidspot’s community manager Tracy Hardy wants her mother back, please. 15. A lifetime of good hair days A space-aged pod which can fancy up hair and face in 30 seconds flat, thanks. This pod should sprout encouraging affirmations and pluck stray hairs from a chin or eyebrow. Alternatively, a Beauty Editor like Nikki Yazxhi to stow under the bed, like a tricksy trundle would work too. 16. Silence Most mothers have forgotten what it’s like. Go on, indulge her. 17. Terrariums A glass-encased indoor plant is the new millenium version of the African violet. All good mothers deserve the chance to kill house plants. 18. A zen sleep master One that wakes up and deals with the issues when a little one refuses to sleep and mum is too tired to face another broken night. 19. Mini Martha Stewart When there are not enough hours in the day, get her a Martha Stewart Mini-Me! Wind up this Mini-Martha and watch her whisk, stitch, dig and craft the bejeezus out of your home. Mini-Martha might even clean the windows. When you find this Mini-Martha, please send her to Kidspot. 20. iTechnology The Kidspot team deemed iGifts as top of their Mother’s Day wishlists this year – iPhones, iPads, iPods, iMacs and even iTunes gift cards hold more appeal than any old toaster or pair of slippers. Now there’s another iGift, the iRobot Roomba 530, a robot vacuum cleaner that scoots around the house cleaning up after messy people. Go on, tell us what you’d put on your fantasy Mother’s Day wish list? PS: Huge thanks to Pip Lincolne, Bronwyn Mandile, Ella Walsh, Linda Drummond, Rebel Wylie, Tracy Hardy and the Kidspot mothers who helped compile this list.
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